I was born five years after my parents got married. By the time I was five my parents were fighting like cats and dogs. My mother hitting and scratching my father with her hands and my giant father defending himself with his big hands.
By the age of ten, my mother was hopeless drunk and when I turned thirteen they were divorced and separated.
But this is not the story of this set of parents. There was no love here, this is his other wife (my stepmom) and his beautiful love story.
She was our next-door neighbour
Imagine you are in a horrible marriage and your next-door neighbour is a beautiful widow with a daughter.
This is God's way of rewarding my Dad for all his hardships.
They were both good for each other. My Dad was rich, tall and handsome. My stepmom was cultured, fair and beautiful.
My dad finally had met his real match. My real mom, couldn't live up to my dad's expectations.
When one has disposable income, one tends to become aspirational. He could talk to my step-mom and he loved spending all his free time with her.
She fulfilled all her responsibilities
After being together for many years. They were finally married. He was 50 she must have been a few years younger than him.
She did her motherly duties towards me and my sister ( we both got married).
Of course, we were not the children she would have ever liked to have. But she did her duties.
I think to love somebody's else kids is darn difficult. I don't have any grudges.
Love in longing and grief.
When my stepmother's only daughter from her previous marriage ran away and married her childhood sweetheart. My stepmom didn't talk to her daughter for several years.
This was when she was the most vulnerable and I think this is the phase when their love peaked.
She sold the flat which was in the same building and moved to Pune. She did not want to see her daughter and son-in-law's face.
My dad (I would tag along) would drive to Pune every weekend so they could be together.
I basked in the warmth of their love. When two people are in love, they value anyone who helps them to be together. I was a kind of enabler. (As in I didn't have any problems accepting my stepmom).
Love deteriorates after marriage.
Marriage gave my step-mom the rights of a legal wife. She had now other agendas in her life than dealing with her loneliness.
She was now overtly concerned with her security. She reconciled with her daughter long back.
But the love was gone. Now they were together because they both has no other option and now it was a game of cat and mouse.
I am not blaming anyone
The reason I am pointing out this is we need to remember why we fell in love.
Imagine if my father had ditched her when her daughter ran away and left her all alone in the world.
**Maybe she forgot. **
On my dad's part what if she had ditched him when both his kids were grown up and were ready for marriage and he needed her the most.
Both stood behind each other like a rock. But they just forgot what got them together in the first place. As soon as the loneliness of being single was replaced by the comforts and security of a marriage. Love was the first thing to fly out of the window.
Hope we don't make this mistake and take our spouses for granted and forget how we overcame all and got together.
